


Again

by Jeonghands



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, JunHao - Freeform, M/M, Self Harm, Suicide, platonic gyuhao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 13:58:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeonghands/pseuds/Jeonghands
Summary: "Hao, am I crazy?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really need to stop listening to sad songs while I write

Everyone has their demons. Their bad memories, regretted choices, their past. Most people, however, can't actually see these demons. Junhui can.

Junhui blinked. What was he doing here? Just as soon as he blinked, the familiar figure was gone. Jun brushed it off as painful memories getting to him.

There he was again. Longer this time. Junhui rubbed his eyes. He was gone.

Was he going crazy? Junhui asked himself. Over the space of two weeks the boy was appearing more and more frequently.

Junhui didn't tell anyone. He began acknowledging the boy's presence with small smiles and nods whenever he could. The boy smiled sadly back.

The boy stopped leaving. Junhui grew used to his presence and began to expect him to be there when he turned his head.

Junhui couldn't take the distance. He finally approached the boy and tried to hug him. To hold him once more. To touch him. To feel him. To have him. His arms swept through empty air and the boy disappeared. Jun's heart cracked.

The boy was gone for the next few days but gradually they returned to their old ways. But Junhui could never be happy.

One night while Jun was laying in the grass, looking at the stars, he glanced over and saw the other boy doing the same.

Junhui let out a quiet chuckle. "Would you look at us now, huh. Whoever would've thought." Jun paused. when the boy didn't reply, he looked back at the sky and continued. "It's ironic, really. I'm so close but I can't have you."

The boy continued to be cold to him.

Jun laughed out loud. "I really messed up, didn't I." He shook his head. "Hao, what did we do to deserve this. You were always so sweet, and so-so caring, and-" Jun's voice cracked as he felt the first traces of tears well up in his eyes.

Jun sighed. "Forget it," he said in a small voice, sitting up, wiping his eyes. With one last glance at the younger boy, he went inside.

Jun's friends noticed something was wrong. They constantly worried about him. They knew he hadn't gotten over him, neither had they, but Jun was losing his grip on reality.

"Jun, he's gone," Mingyu confronted him once. Jun shook his head. "What are you talking about, he's right there." He pointed at the boy. Mingyu glanced worriedly at Jeonghan. Jeonghan just shook his head. "Jun, we all miss him, but you have to get ahold of yourself. You're not eating, you're not sleeping," Jeonghan tried to talk to him. Junhui just ignored him.

Jun couldn't sleep. When he closed his eyes, they came. The memories came. All the regret and heartbreak happened all over again. And again. And again. He couldn't stand it. When his eyes were open, he was there, and it was as if they were all still happy, despite him never saying a single word. He was content anyways.

Junhui had lost himself. He no longer responded to Mingyu, Jeonghan, or the others. He stopped eating and sleeping altogether. He was no longer aware of what was happening around him, all that mattered was the boy who never left his side.

They agreed it was for the best. Seungcheol drove him to the hospital. They said they'd "take good care of him." Mingyu didn't believe it for a second. But it was "for the best".

Junhui continued to remain oblivious to everything. Continued his one sided conversations with the boy. Continued his conversations with no one.

During one rare moment of clarity, Jun snuck out to the balcony. He looked up, smiling as he remembered how much he used to love the stars. How much he taught him, none of which he remembers because of how distracted he was by the other boy.

"Hao, am I crazy?" Jun asked the boy sitting next to him. "They think I am. I guess they're probably right. I know you're not really here, but you are. It was all my fault. I should've been there." Junhui's voice cracked. "I should've stopped you." He slammed his fist into the wall, tears coming in uncontrollable waterfalls down his face. "I should've done something!" Junhui choked back a sob. "I should've realized, I should've told you how much I loved you, I should've stopped you, shoot, I SHOULD'VE STOPPED YOU!"

Junhui collapsed to the ground, eyes dry, voice hoarse. "I'm sorry Minghao," he whispered. Jun looked up. Minghao smiled softly at Jun. As he stepped away from the crying boy, he whispered to himself. "I'm sorry Jun. I love you, you know I do."

Junhui never saw him again.

 


	2. Mingyu POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prequel of sorts to Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend requested sad Mingyu and this is what I got.

Practice was taking a toll on all of them, Mingyu knew, but he didn't fail to notice it was especially hard on Minghao. Though the younger always put on a happy face in front of the members, Mingyu heard him crying in the bathroom, noticed him sneaking out at night when he thought no one was awake.

Mingyu never knew what to do. Whenever he could, he tried to cheer the Chinese boy up. He often brought him his favorite food, made an effort to spend as much time as possible with him, small things really.

Mingyu really thought he was making a difference as Minghao gradually bagan smiling more around the members. Then he noticed the cuts.

At first, they were small, and Mingyu dismissed them as scrapes.

It was only when new, long scars began appearing on his arms when Mingyu knew something was very wrong. He began spending even more time with Minghao, rarely leaving his friend alone, and yet the cuts worsened. Minghao always wore long sleeves, thinking no one noticed. He developed bags under his eyes and started eating less. He didn't think anyone noticed.

Mingyu noticed.

Mingyu finally confronted the boy one night after the others had fallen asleep.

"Hey, are you ok?"

No response. Mingyu scooted closer to Minghao, when he realized he was crying.

Mingyu wrapped his arms around Minghao's shoulders, drawing the boy closer to him. Minghao instantly tore himself free and ran from the room.

After recovering from his shock, Mingyu followed him.

The front door was wide open. Minghao was nowhere to be seen. Mingyu returned to his room.

-

Mingyu woke to screaming. He burst from his bed, slamming the door open and sprinting down the hallway. As he rounded the corner to the living room, he saw the other members running in as well.

Mingyu looked around frantically, searching for the source of the noise. He spotted Jun leaning over the edge of the balcony outside. Another cry of dispair sounded, and Mingyu realized it was coming from him. Mingyu flew across the room to the balcony and it was then that he saw it: the broken shape of Minghao lying on the ground, 10 stories below.

Mingyu fell to his knees as he sensed the other members gathering around him and Junhui. Jun was still letting out anguished sobs, and Mingyu could only stare at the body of his friend lying below him. He bit back tears, knowing Minghao wouldn't have wanted it, but once the first traces of liquid dropped onto the ground, they wouldn't stop.

They didn't stop.


End file.
